The Apple Tablet is the Second Coming!

Tuesday, 19 January 2010 05:25

The iTab, iSlate, iRead or the iFlat-Thingy; whatever you want to call it, will be the greatest thing since sliced bread.

In fact, I think it will actually slice bread. One of the many functions of this amazing, possibly forthcoming product that hasn’t been announced yet and may or may not be real. I’ve heard all the rumors: It will play audio and video, compute with the best of the laptop progeny, play amazing games, read literature, and I hear Jobs is working on a deal to actually pull Stephen King’s thoughts from out of his head right onto the screen as he thinks them.

I mean, how can it fail? Even if it doesn’t live up to expectations – it will sell billions of units across the planet – just like the iPhone. After all, the iPhone is far from perfect, but none of us fan-boys will admit it. We buy it, anyway. When you love someone, you overlook that mole… We choose to talk about it’s form over function, how it integrates perfectly with our computers and iTunes, and tell people we don’t need stinking flash in the first place.  Stop pestering us about how your phone has flash. Who needs flash on our web browser when we have the App Store? I’ll take TWO iPhones, please.

Heck, if Jobs says we don’t need flash, then we don’t need it! After all, he told us we don’t need buttons, right? The iPhone is the worlds best gaming platform without buttons.

Go ahead – prove me wrong on that!

No one else thought to have a gaming platform without buttons – completely forward thinking. Look at the Mac line over the years – First he got rid of the floppy, said we only need CD’s. Now he says we don’t need CD’s – but you can get a $50 drive for your Macbook Air if you really want to look like a portable computing loser. And now, we don’t need buttons – they just get in the way of the form and function. All that stuff is superfluous; you need to get your stuff from “the cloud,” like the rest of us.

We Mac fan-boys ALL live in the cloud. It’s Job’s cloud, and we all like it there, thank you very much please, may I have another?

So, the iAll-Consuming-Thing-With-No-Buttons-And-No-Flash (name may be different at time of presentation) will rock! It will be everything we want it to be, even if it isn’t.

I AM a fan-boy, after all…