At first, it was just a bit of discomfort, maybe a burning sensation. Then, all hell broke loose.

When I say “all hell broke loose,” I mean my chest hurt. Really hurt. Hard to catch your breath, really sharp, wow, I’ve NEVER felt anything like this before, is-there-time-to-write-my-will hurt.

I started to pace the floor. Was this a heart attack? I couldn’t imagine a heart attack being much worse. After a few more minutes, I suddenly COULD imagine a heart attack being much worse, which scared the last few wits that I had left, out of me. However, I was pacing the floor, which I DIDN’T imagine would be happening if I was actually having a heart-attack.

Heart-attack or not? What else could it be? It’s very interesting having these little debates with yourself while your chest feels like it’s ripping in two. And frankly, my closest brush with medical training was watching Scrubs, so the internal debate was pretty futile. My wife settled it – she said we were leaving.

Yes, you read correctly: Getting into the car and leaving. Now at this point, you are probably wondering why we weren’t calling 911. We live in a very rural area, and there’s a fire station not two miles from us. Frankly, hopping in the car was probably faster than the phone call. Of course, that wasn’t the best thinking, since it’s a volunteer fire department, and unmanned if there is no call. But luck was with us, everyone had just got back from a fire, and the building was bustling with activity.

Activity that was turned to me upon our arrival. I was assured that it was a very good idea to go along with them – after all, they had another gentleman who came to them with similar symptoms just last week – and he “coded” on the way to the hospital. So it was good that he was with them, so they could bring him back – not that they were trying to scare me or anything, but they were still pretty keyed-up from that call, yes sir, you bet.

I guess volunteers have a funny way to keep possible heart-attack victims calm. I’m still looking into that. Maybe there’s a different rule-book or something…

So I wound up on a gurney, and checking out the finest that modern emergency vehicles could offer. I was treated to EKG’s and saline solution. I had sprouted wires and been officially started on a drip. By now, the pain had actually passed – but it’s better to be safe than sorry, right? After all, I was already on my trip to the city, why stop now? Emergency people frown at that. Even volunteer emergency people; that part of the rule-book seemed to be the same.

Next, I had my ‘amusement park’  moment. When we arrived at the emergency room, I was wheeled out of the truck – by one guy. This has to be explained for you to get the full picture: He was outside of the vehicle pulling my gurney, which happened to be about five feet off of the ground in the truck. Looking out over the open door, I had a feeling of going over the edge on a roller-coaster – except instead of  that thrilling first plunge, I was about to be dropped when the un-manned end of my gurney cleared the doorway. And I figured that would hurt. But at least, I told myself, I was already at the hospital. Then I was treated to a magic trick, as my savior pushed a button on the underside of the gurney, and it sprouted sturdy, wheeled legs – and then I remembered – That’s right, I’d seen that on Scrubs.

In the emergency room, you are asked your name and how old you are. Often. Every new person who sees you asks you your name, and how old you are. And, every time, you think, “Isn’t that on the chart that you’re looking at?” And after awhile, you start to wonder if you’re getting it wrong, and maybe you really are that sick – otherwise, why would they keep asking? Next emergency, I’m writing my name and age on a three-by-five card, and flashing it to everyone who asks.

After quite a few hours, quite a few questions (other than my name and age) and quite a few tests, a verdict was reached. My gallbladder was guilty of impersonating a heart-attack. It forced a big gallstone through a little bile duct that really wasn’t meant to do things like that, so God, in His infinite wisdom, put a BUNCH of pain recepters there, to make me think I was about to treat everyone around me to a live presentation of the chest-burster scene from Alien.

Armed with the truth of my condition, I went home with a referral to a specialist, and some Vicodin, so if another gallstone rears it’s ugly head, I can feel like I am floating on puffy clouds of pain-free goodness until it passes.

But I know what’s really going to happen. I have no medical insurance.

When the bill arrives, I’m going to have a heart-attack.

When it comes to music playback, the key area of competition between Apple, and the new services from Google and Amazon, I notice that iCloud doesn’t play your music from the cloud – it pushes it to your devices that then play your music in the usual fashion – from your computer or iDevice itself. Amazon and Google are streaming from the web – that’s a lot of extra bandwidth, that Apple can put to better use pushing document changes and photos around.

“Storing” music iTunes already has on it’s servers is easy – it just pushes Apple’s own copy to your other devices. That part of the equation is, technically, already in operation. After all, they already have the music, and push it to your iTunes when you purchase it.

Even with the 25 buck per year option, allowing you to ‘store’ music that you havent bought through iTunes, if it is already in iTunes, they still push Apple’s copy to your other devices. That’s what ‘upgrading’ you to 225k AAC means (a little something Steve mentioned). Saves them a bunch on storage: No need to store 27 million copies of Fleetwood Macs Greatest Hits. That’s what Amazon and Google are doing (so far). Of course, if I’m an audiophile, and store all my stuff with a lossless codec – that’s technically downgrading. But for us average ‘folk, I suppose it’s a win.

This service would have been lawsuit central five years ago (what? you’re sending them another copy? That’s infringing our copyright, Mr. Jobs…), and is truly something the other guys can’t currently do. It pays to make deals with the music labels!

I don’t know what part of his soul he sold to make this deal, but I hope it was worth it. If successful, just that ONE aspect of iCloud is a deal-changer.

General pop and dance tunes can be tuned out – they become a part of the atmosphere. A background beat. Ballads are different. They’re personal, to the point, and pointed directly at the listener. It’s just not restaurant material.

You see, I was dining with the wife, and excused myself to go to the powder room. Now I don’t want to make this too graphic, but I needed to – sit down. There, I said it. We all sit down from time to time, right? It’s a part of the human experience. Good, I’m glad that we’ve cleared that up.

It was before the main dinner hour, so the restaurant wasn’t very busy. I was alone in the restroom. Sitting. Everything was fine, quiet and contemplative. Until Neil Diamond started singing to me.

September Morn, to be exact. A ballad of love, seemingly directed to me while I was… sitting. I suppose the mood was just right; all alone, quiet. The room was dimly lit and rather romantic – for a public restroom.

Stay for just a while
Stay and let me look at you

Really, Neil, not right now. I’m busy. I’m… Sitting.

We’ve travelled half-way around the world
To find ourselves again.

But, here? Did it have to be here? Neil, please – maybe later.

We danced until the night became a brand new day
Two lovers playing scenes from some romantic play

At that point, I was no longer able to… Sit. It was just too much. I had to gather my things together and just go.

This is why ballads in restaurants are wrong. It should have never been. Don’t feel bad, Neil, after all, it wasn’t you – it was me. I just couldn’t handle a ballad in the restroom. I just couldn’t finish what we started.

I suppose September mornings will always make me feel this way…

Not only will TSM (which stands for This Stupid Minute) expand with a Saturday episode of TSW (which stands for – well, you get it, never mind), but TSW will itself expand to five minutes in length. It’s kind of like five This Stupid Minutes all at once. Although, not really, because TSW will be nothing like TSM.

This Stupid Weekend will be a free-for-all of silliness: flights of fancy that go beyond a minute of commentary, like the original TSM, but will be more like five minutes of commentary, which will make it more like the new TSW. Which is good, because TSW should be its own program. Not just a repeat of the TSM format, but its own format. A better format. One that screams TSW, which as we already know, stands for This Stupid Weekend, which, once again, is NOT This Stupid Minute, thus the different name. Also note that there probably will be no screaming. That was just a metaphor.

After all, if it was just This Stupid Minute, it wouldn’t be any different, now would it? And if it was actually called This Stupid Minute and ran for five minutes, then it would kind of be like lying, and we would never do that to you.

We hope that makes everything clear. This Stupid Weekend: Kind of like This Stupid Minute, but completely different. And five minutes, not just one minute. It’s like listening to a great song on the radio, but without the cool guitar solo. And a lot more talky.

Join Vince this Saturday. Look for the This Stupid Weekend logo on the home page.

That was my last This Stupid minute. The date was March 24th, 2010.

It was a very important day.

It was the last day I remembered that I was doing a daily podcast. Attention Deficit Disorder can be so annoying.

But I can not be silent. I must get back up, dust myself off, and continue the good fight. It’s this type of important information that the world needs. We don’t need to know about how dangerous our food is, how frightening the streets are, how we’re destroying our natural resources – we already know that. What we REALLY need is someone to take the facts, dump them in a blender and then present them in a totally incomprehensible minute-long audio program.

Well, I’m the guy. I’ll take the responsibility. I’ll completely confuse you – I consider it my calling. This Stupid Minute returns and gives you nothing but the facts. Various facts. Kinda shuffled up and dealt out at random. It’s more fun that way.

Tomorrow, I expose the lack of truth in television. Then, we have this whole end of the world thing: That ought to be good until at least the 21st. After that – maybe nothing, depending on how the apocalypse goes. So it’s good I remembered This Stupid Minute with a few days to spare.

At least I’ll go out with a bang…

The question is: Do you really own anything, anymore?

Sure, it’s your data file. It’s on your hard drive, or your cloud service of choice – but there are no more physical books, DVDs or CDs in your hand. For that matter, they are technically nowhere. You have purchased the right to view or listen – not much else.

Don’t get me wrong – I go everywhere with my iPad – I read books, listen to music, and watch video. I also have taken all of my DVD collection and moved them to my hard drive and iTunes account, along with all of my CDs. After I had done the move, it started to dawn on me – I didn’t need these things, anymore – after all, they are on my hard drive – why not toss them? Maybe give them to the library or a needy friend? The trouble is, besides possibly not being legal, I would no longer have the stuff if something catastrophic happened to my computer. And, I’d have no proof that I ever owned them in the first place. Even if I simply keep the files and toss the physical media – I’m technically left with nothing but an experience.

Then I started thinking about the cloud itself. If I trust my purchases to a service out on the cloud – what happens if they go belly up or if they lose all my data? Where do I go to get my stuff? How do I get it back? How do I prove that it was mine in the first place?

Data is turning into money – When an unscrupulous financier swindles hapless families of their life savings – it’s gone – there’s no getting it back. We expect to lose our stuff if, God forbid, the house burns down – but not if Google has a hiccup. What happens if Amazon says, “never mind, this cloud thing was a bad idea. Get your stuff off of here by Thursday – we’re shutting the doors.” Will you even have the bandwidth or hard drive space to get your stuff back? Will we become so dependent on others for our storage that we’re unable to keep our files at home?

When my mother passed away, I got her stuff. Some books, some videos, clothing, etc. If we go the direction of the digital cloud, we’re going to need a whole new kind of access just to get a loved-one’s stuff. Grandpa had better keep a list of all his passwords, or you’re never going to see his copy of Casablanca. Will we need court orders and proof of death to take over uncle Ernie’s jazz collection?

Lastly, is this belittling the quality of the things we access? We used to take pride in a collection of, say, Disney DVD’s. I for one, am in the process of collecting the Complete Peanuts book collection, as each volume is released. With physical items, there is something to treasure. Something of worth that you can physically see and touch. It has physical value that we equate to craftsmanship, workmanship, mental effort and talent. If I have nothing but files, do I actually think less of the items?

Think of movie theaters – the grand old houses are closing at an alarming rate. Why take the time to get the family together, drive out and join in with others to view the beauty and majesty of a film in it’s natural habitat, when I can download it a few months later via iTunes for $5.99?

We’re changing from owners to consumers – from experiencers to downloaders. When everything becomes a file, sits on a server, and is experienced instantly by the truckloads – what will be our measurement of worth and heritage, our understanding of the efforts that originally produced these items?

Will it all be disposable both in format and meaning? Will we actually own anything? More importantly, will we WANT to? There’s an implication there not only for movie theaters, motion picture companies, music producers, authors and game manufacturers, but for ourselves as well. The days of the movie collection and the photo album are disappearing quickly. When history is only digital, and no longer in our hands, what value will it hold for us? Who will have control of it?

Will it even be ours?

The Concept

These days, a “Classic” rock album has a second meaning besides the obvious – It also means “When everyone was actually in the band.” Face it, your favorite past band is never getting back together.

Take the classic, Chicago-based arena rockers, Styx. Go ahead, take them – because most ‘folk won’t bother with them, anymore.

Basically, one of the founding members, Dennis DeYoung, has been out of the group for some time now,  while Founding member James Young and Later addition Tommy Shaw (also of Damn Yankees, when HE wasn’t in Styx, either) have been happily touring with other half-bands on the “Empty Shells of Formerly Glorious Bands” Tour.

I am NOT knocking the talents of the individual players. Styx was chock-full of talent across the board, then and now. The lesson here is that any group is the sum of the parts that comprise it. Take one part away, and what you have left on both sides of the fence is only part of the music that made them famous.

I’ll leave you to look up the particulars of the Styx saga. Just know that in the present, all parties in or formerly in the band have continued to stay busy. In 2003, The Young/Shaw “Shell of Styx” released a Styx album: Cyclorama. It was OK, but nothing that I’m going to write home to mother about (if she even knew who Styx were), nor will I ever really listen to it after the first spin. They also released (another) live album, and an album of cover songs – Why I want to hear a shell of a group perform songs that aren’t even theirs is beyond me.

In 2009, Dennis DeYoung released a new solo album in the US (based on his original release a few years earlier in Canada). One Hundred Years Form Now. It’s actually a very strong album that many hailed as a could-have-been-Styx-album. Could have been, of course, because he’s the only member of Styx on the album – therefore it CAN’T be a Styx album.

Why must I live with these shells? Why cant I hear a new whole Styx album? If I could only put both sides of the fence back together, so the holes are patched, and everyone was together again….

Wait a minute, I CAN.

Modern technology allows this. With digital music and music players, all bets are off. If I don’t like a track on an album – Poof! it’s gone. If I think a greatest hits compilation is missing a track I would have liked to be on it – I can add it. If I want a Conway Twitty number in the middle of my Bruce Springsteen album, I CAN (it would be weird, but I can). It’s that simple.

So I set out to take two empty shells, and make them whole again. I think you’ll like the results, and you can simply buy the tunes and put them together yourself. Join me and make your own new Styx album.

I started with the Styx minus DeYoung album, Cyclorama (I couldn’t use the live or the covers album for my experiment), and the DeYoung minus everyone else album One Hundred Years From Now. Could I pick and chose tracks to build a real Styx album?

As I started to snip and prune, things started to come together. Frankly, it got a bit scary. Since Both albums were trying to be Styx, they were very similar in tone. Certain songs from each album actually fit together and flowed from one to the other. Not only that, but I could actually create a CONCEPT album from the pieces! Now understand, I use the term “concept album” loosely – but since most Styx concept albums were a bit loose, anyway, I figured I was on the right on track.

So now, I present to you the new Styx album – “Pheonix,” named for the re-birth of Styx from the ashes of their shell albums, and the journey of our non-named, musical Narrator through the album.

First, let me list out the tracks I purchased through iTunes (they are also available on Amazon.com) – Then the order I placed them in. It will cost you about ten bucks to make your own Styx album! After, I’ll explain the flow of the album – and be sure to make it to the end of this post for a special surprise or two to help finish the album.

The Tunes

Dennis DeYoung – One Hundred Years From Now

• Track 1 – One Hundred Years Form Now
• Track 4 – Crossing The Rubicon
• Track 6 – I Don’t Believe In Anything
• Track 7 – Private Jones

Styx – Cyclorama

• Track 6 – These are The Times
• Track 10 – Fooling Yourself
• Track 11 – Captain America
• Track 13 – One With Everything

Styx – Brave New World

• Track 9 – Great Expectations

I’ll admit – I’ve cheated here – but for a good cause. The above song isn’t from either of my “shell” albums. You see, I need to SELL my new Styx album – and I cant do that without a “ringer.” I need Dennis and Tommy singing on the same track, or it’s not really a Styx album – I never heard of the 1999 Styx album Brave New World. It was the last album that everyone appeared on (Tommy wasn’t on the preceding album, so I already gave up before this release). After listening to it, most people found it unfocused and underwhelming. I count myself one of the majority on that topic, but I’M making something that IS focused, by golly, and this song from that misfire will suit my purposes well.

Now, place the tracks in the following order for Styx-Phoenix:

1. One Hundred Years From Now
2. Fooling Yourself
3. Private Jones
4. These Are The Times
5. I Don’t Believe In Anything
6. Great Expectations
7. Captain America
8. Crossing The Rubicon
9. One With Everything

The Album

Now, let’s see my reasoning behind the tracks, and the outlandish story I’ve concocted from the spare parts:

• Track one – One Hundred Years From Now

How do we begin this tragic tale? With this song. A prayer for peace – loosely referring to the current middle East situation. Senseless violence and loss. Since it’s the opening of his album, it has the prerequisite first-song vibe: We hear a record being played, and simple solitary keyboard work before the main song begins. Think Paradise Theater. This song sets up our theme, which will soon become tragic.

• Track two – Fooling Yourself

A revisit of the classic song. I’m sure Tommy wanted to give his new “styx” album credibility, so I’ll use it for the same reason. Who is “the troubled young man” in our new recording? Perhaps the Narrator himself, or the gentleman from the next song…

• Track Three – Private Jones

Private Jones is a well-meaning soldier who does not return from Iraq. This starts the narrative spinning downhill, as we move on to a voice from Styx we haven’t heard from yet -

• Track four – These are The Times

James Young takes to the Mic.

“Voices from beyond the veil, The comrades I have lost”

I’m certain there is some kind of deeper, unfathomable meaning to the opening lyrics, but for our purpose, it’s the battle field we just left, and then perhaps battle fields from all history. Along with James is Tommy – nice to her both of their voices after a tune from Dennis!

• Track five – I don’t believe in anything

Our unknown, musical narrator Is now pretty depressed about the whole situation. No longer believing in anything after being lied to about war, loss, politicians, movie special effects, you name it. The tune has a country vibe, but weaves some rock in, as well.

• Track six – Great Expectations

Still negative and down about having to produce and be what everyone wants him to be – our narrator is still on quite a disillusioned bummer that carries on from the previous track. This time, however, we’re a bit reggae. Apparently, in our little corner of Styx-Land; disillusioned narratives happen in musical styles other than standard rock.

• Track seven – Captain America

James is back, and looking for a savior to fix this mess we’re in. And we’re back to straight-forward arena rock.

“You remind me of the days in that infamous war – where we weren’t quite sure of what we were fighting for…”

“Is there someone in charge who can lead the way tonight?”

A call to action – to straighten up the whole stinking country and fly right.

• Track eight – Crossing The Rubicon

“I’m searching for an answer that somehow could explain why I feel this misery and pain.”

“The fault is mine in the end…”

A plea for forgiveness and a cry to finally stand up and make a change.

“I Know there’s no turning back.”

Time to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and move on – the turning point on our little play. The scary thing is either Dennis is doing a spot-on impersonation of Tommy, or he found a ringer – at first you’d swear they were singing together. Some cool Styx-like keyboards at the end – which makes sense, since Dennis was the keyboardist of the group.

• Track nine – One With Everything

“Hold on tightly to your innocence and don’t let go.”

“You can be the light that shines.”

The uplifting end. Give yourself a chance and you can be one with everything. Our play draws to a close in the typical uplifting fashion of Cornerstone. More great keyboards here as well – odd, of course, because Dennis is nowhere to be found on this album – I thought these guys were trying to stay away from his stuff? Hey, it’s okay by me, because it suits the purposes of my new Styx album just fine.

With that, we draw it to a close – from the tragedy and aftermath of war, disillusionment with life and the trappings of the political machine, to finally overcoming and standing tall. You now have a brand-new Styx album!

There are, of course, a few caveats:

• You’ll probably have to adjust the final volume output of each file to even the whole thing out – after all they’re from different sources (three albums, to be exact)
• There’s a whole bunch of “session” players in our new Styx album (the ones trying to fill the shoes of the guys no longer in the current band that’s playing the song) – we’re kind of stuck with that.
• Obviously, it’s not a REAL Styx album – but I like it better than the original works from which it was derived.

Two More Fun Things

Covering-up…

First off, our album needs cover art – I purchased a picture of doves from iStock photo.com, and did a little manipulation to change the pretty holiday blue background to a more foreboding war-like red. You are free to use this, as long as you don’t try to sell it or anything – iStock frowns upon that. Click-through to get it full-size.

A Parting Tune…

Lastly, If you like what you have, you can go one more extra step – and this requires a bit of work. I’m an media editor, so I have the tools to do this, but you can do it, as well, with the free audio software Audacity – which is available on both Mac and Windows.

I wanted a true close. Many Styx albums had an opening, and a close (Kilroy Was Here, Grand Illusion, Paradise Theater) – something that says, “Hey, we’re officially done” in an artistic and musical way, which refers back to the beginning of the album. I don’t actually have this, here – So I created it.

I copied the light keyboard piece from the beginning of track one, and flipped it in reverse (There’s a setting in Audacity to reverse a track.) Then I saved it out as a small, single song – that now plays in reverse. Styx used backwards masking in their later albums – mainly because they were accused of it, so why not do it? I think my backwards close works well for Phoenix: Our album started with record noise, then the keyboard piece – and now ends with the reverse keyboard piece, and then the record noise. It ends as it began. Fade to back….

• Track ten  – Epilogue

10 Epilogue

I have included the reverse keyboard piece here for your listening pleasure. This will allow you to hear what the finished piece should sound like. You DON’T want to download this file – because it’s probably not kosher – it’s best to be safe. You’re already purchasing and downloading their actual tunes to make your new Styx album – so let’s not spoil it by actually downloading this – I don’t want them any more angry at me than they probably are already. Really, don’t download it. That would be too easy…

In Conclusion

Technology brings the boys back into the studio together – whether they want to be, or not. That’s basically what DeYoung was singing about in “I don’t Believe In Anything:” everything can be manipulated in our modern, digital world.

You know what? He’s right! Enjoy your Styx reunion album!

Maybe I’ll take a look at Pink Floyd next…

Remember Toyota’s old slogan? Oh what a feeling to drive a Toyota? Takes on a totally different mood now, doesn’t it? Honestly, though, has Ford ever been any better? Remember the Ford/Firestone tire troubles? It took Attorneys, Congress and clicking our heels together three times to get justice then, as well. Corporations base their bigheartedness on whatever gives them a better bottom line. If it’s cheaper to pay out millions in lawsuits, no recall. Think Exxon Valdez. Kinda makes you feel warm all over, doesn’t it?

Speaking of Ford – are you catching the amazingly blatant Ford product placements in TV Shows? I’ve seen more actors tell their car to call someone than I would care to count. Lovely shot of the dashboard, as well. Thank you very much, yes it’s cool, now stop it. Didn’t anyone learn from the lousy Bing ads in the Philanthropist? Wait, I guess no one really watched that show but me and a family in Pittsburgh…

I’m working on Vince Fiction. A new category hear on the ‘ol blog. Yes, I’m still trying to find my true calling here on the internet. Be on the lookout for the pulp fiction parody (no, not the movie, the literary genre) Death Wedding. Imagine The Shadow meets Laura Croft. Then stop imagining that, because it’s nothing like that. It’s about 50% complete, so it should see the light of day in a week or two.

Yes I auditioned for some popular TV show. No, I’m still in the dark as to whether I’m going to be on it or not. I’m not allowed to say anything. I hope that sentence was not too much. I’m probably safe, since only six people read this thing, anyway… And yes, I’m including my dog in that count.

• iPhone:
• Three more days until I’m eligible to upgrade my shattered iPhone. Kind of silly, really – I never wanted to upgrade, I just want the same stinking thing because I dropped it face first on the pavement. Speaking of -
• Testimony to the iPhone – I dropped it face-first on the pavement three months ago – the glass shattered, but still fully operational! Annoying as all get-out, but operational. Since then, I’ve met a few others who shared the same fate – and the iPhone Bunny keeps going, and going…

• TV:
• USA’s White Collar is a bit too silly for me – take one part Leverage, one part Royal Pains, and poof! The formula continues, for better or worse.
• I’m ‘kinda disappointed with the new Chuck as well. I don’t think making Chuck a true spy is working out as I would have hoped. I’ll hang in there, for now.
• And While I’m at it – The Human Target seems to be missing the target. Can’t put my finger on it – but I’d rather watch an implausible episode of Leverage, than a similarly implausible episode of Human Target. The Leverage cast just gels better, and makes it a fun hour-killer.
• Wait for it… Wait for it… There it is! It’s the House moment: someone says something seemingly random to instantly give him the diagnosis… Usually about eight minutes before the end of the program. I still like House, but the “moment” is getting old.

• Music:
• I’m listening to 181.fm these days around the house – it’s the little radio network that could… Click Here to check it out (no, it’s not an affiliate link). I also whipped myself up an account in their Social Network section – what the heck. Click Here to see something that looks – well, just like my Twitter, my blog and my You Tube accounts (I’m a creature of habit…).
• I don’t know if I like the Pandora widget that I put on the home page – it seems to not work about 10% of the time, and it wreaks of over-programming. Go ahead, click all the buttons – do you really need to see albums flying around to see what kind of music I like? Here’s a hint, I listen to just about everything but Country. No offense – just never got into it.

First off – they actually SELL fireworks. Here. In the forest. If this were my old neighborhood, hundreds of Cub Scouts and Church volunteers would have been in jail for illegal distribution. It was rather surreal to see fireworks stands with pine tree backdrops. We have trees, baby. The kind that you see explode into flames in fire safety videos.

Next, I’m near the Canadian border – darkness doesn’t fall until around ten o’clock, yet I was hearing fireworks around 6 pm. What were they doing, enjoying the noise and smell of sulfur? They sure weren’t SEEING the darn things.

Lastly, when nightfall finally did hit – things blew up real good. All around me. And it wasn’t exactly “safe and sane” stuff – I wonder if Canada is to Washington what Mexico is to California when it comes to fireworks – ’cause the noises I was hearing weren’t very legal sounding – flying fireworks, Chinese firecracker strings, blasting caps, quarter sticks of dynamite, shotguns, ak-47′s – you know – mountain stuff. I guess the locals figure the lone Sheriff’s car can’t be everywhere – enjoy the wholesome sound of Fourth of July weapons fire!

Well – we survived. The house survived, and the surrounding neighborhood survived. I guess this is normal stuff around here. Thankfully, it only happens once a year.

I hope. I wonder what plans they make for Labor Day…