The Concept

These days, a “Classic” rock album has a second meaning besides the obvious – It also means “When everyone was actually in the band.” Face it, your favorite past band is never getting back together.

Take the classic, Chicago-based arena rockers, Styx. Go ahead, take them – because most ‘folk won’t bother with them, anymore.

Basically, one of the founding members, Dennis DeYoung, has been out of the group for some time now,  while Founding member James Young and Later addition Tommy Shaw (also of Damn Yankees, when HE wasn’t in Styx, either) have been happily touring with other half-bands on the “Empty Shells of Formerly Glorious Bands” Tour.

I am NOT knocking the talents of the individual players. Styx was chock-full of talent across the board, then and now. The lesson here is that any group is the sum of the parts that comprise it. Take one part away, and what you have left on both sides of the fence is only part of the music that made them famous.

I’ll leave you to look up the particulars of the Styx saga. Just know that in the present, all parties in or formerly in the band have continued to stay busy. In 2003, The Young/Shaw “Shell of Styx” released a Styx album: Cyclorama. It was OK, but nothing that I’m going to write home to mother about (if she even knew who Styx were), nor will I ever really listen to it after the first spin. They also released (another) live album, and an album of cover songs – Why I want to hear a shell of a group perform songs that aren’t even theirs is beyond me.

In 2009, Dennis DeYoung released a new solo album in the US (based on his original release a few years earlier in Canada). One Hundred Years Form Now. It’s actually a very strong album that many hailed as a could-have-been-Styx-album. Could have been, of course, because he’s the only member of Styx on the album – therefore it CAN’T be a Styx album.

Why must I live with these shells? Why cant I hear a new whole Styx album? If I could only put both sides of the fence back together, so the holes are patched, and everyone was together again….

Wait a minute, I CAN.

Modern technology allows this. With digital music and music players, all bets are off. If I don’t like a track on an album – Poof! it’s gone. If I think a greatest hits compilation is missing a track I would have liked to be on it – I can add it. If I want a Conway Twitty number in the middle of my Bruce Springsteen album, I CAN (it would be weird, but I can). It’s that simple.

So I set out to take two empty shells, and make them whole again. I think you’ll like the results, and you can simply buy the tunes and put them together yourself. Join me and make your own new Styx album.

I started with the Styx minus DeYoung album, Cyclorama (I couldn’t use the live or the covers album for my experiment), and the DeYoung minus everyone else album One Hundred Years From Now. Could I pick and chose tracks to build a real Styx album?

As I started to snip and prune, things started to come together. Frankly, it got a bit scary. Since Both albums were trying to be Styx, they were very similar in tone. Certain songs from each album actually fit together and flowed from one to the other. Not only that, but I could actually create a CONCEPT album from the pieces! Now understand, I use the term “concept album” loosely – but since most Styx concept albums were a bit loose, anyway, I figured I was on the right on track.

So now, I present to you the new Styx album – “Pheonix,” named for the re-birth of Styx from the ashes of their shell albums, and the journey of our non-named, musical Narrator through the album.

First, let me list out the tracks I purchased through iTunes (they are also available on Amazon.com) – Then the order I placed them in. It will cost you about ten bucks to make your own Styx album! After, I’ll explain the flow of the album – and be sure to make it to the end of this post for a special surprise or two to help finish the album.

The Tunes

Dennis DeYoung – One Hundred Years From Now

• Track 1 – One Hundred Years Form Now
• Track 4 – Crossing The Rubicon
• Track 6 – I Don’t Believe In Anything
• Track 7 – Private Jones

Styx – Cyclorama

• Track 6 – These are The Times
• Track 10 – Fooling Yourself
• Track 11 – Captain America
• Track 13 – One With Everything

Styx – Brave New World

• Track 9 – Great Expectations

I’ll admit – I’ve cheated here – but for a good cause. The above song isn’t from either of my “shell” albums. You see, I need to SELL my new Styx album – and I cant do that without a “ringer.” I need Dennis and Tommy singing on the same track, or it’s not really a Styx album – I never heard of the 1999 Styx album Brave New World. It was the last album that everyone appeared on (Tommy wasn’t on the preceding album, so I already gave up before this release). After listening to it, most people found it unfocused and underwhelming. I count myself one of the majority on that topic, but I’M making something that IS focused, by golly, and this song from that misfire will suit my purposes well.

Now, place the tracks in the following order for Styx-Phoenix:

1. One Hundred Years From Now
2. Fooling Yourself
3. Private Jones
4. These Are The Times
5. I Don’t Believe In Anything
6. Great Expectations
7. Captain America
8. Crossing The Rubicon
9. One With Everything

The Album

Now, let’s see my reasoning behind the tracks, and the outlandish story I’ve concocted from the spare parts:

• Track one – One Hundred Years From Now

How do we begin this tragic tale? With this song. A prayer for peace – loosely referring to the current middle East situation. Senseless violence and loss. Since it’s the opening of his album, it has the prerequisite first-song vibe: We hear a record being played, and simple solitary keyboard work before the main song begins. Think Paradise Theater. This song sets up our theme, which will soon become tragic.

• Track two – Fooling Yourself

A revisit of the classic song. I’m sure Tommy wanted to give his new “styx” album credibility, so I’ll use it for the same reason. Who is “the troubled young man” in our new recording? Perhaps the Narrator himself, or the gentleman from the next song…

• Track Three – Private Jones

Private Jones is a well-meaning soldier who does not return from Iraq. This starts the narrative spinning downhill, as we move on to a voice from Styx we haven’t heard from yet -

• Track four – These are The Times

James Young takes to the Mic.

“Voices from beyond the veil, The comrades I have lost”

I’m certain there is some kind of deeper, unfathomable meaning to the opening lyrics, but for our purpose, it’s the battle field we just left, and then perhaps battle fields from all history. Along with James is Tommy – nice to her both of their voices after a tune from Dennis!

• Track five – I don’t believe in anything

Our unknown, musical narrator Is now pretty depressed about the whole situation. No longer believing in anything after being lied to about war, loss, politicians, movie special effects, you name it. The tune has a country vibe, but weaves some rock in, as well.

• Track six – Great Expectations

Still negative and down about having to produce and be what everyone wants him to be – our narrator is still on quite a disillusioned bummer that carries on from the previous track. This time, however, we’re a bit reggae. Apparently, in our little corner of Styx-Land; disillusioned narratives happen in musical styles other than standard rock.

• Track seven – Captain America

James is back, and looking for a savior to fix this mess we’re in. And we’re back to straight-forward arena rock.

“You remind me of the days in that infamous war – where we weren’t quite sure of what we were fighting for…”

“Is there someone in charge who can lead the way tonight?”

A call to action – to straighten up the whole stinking country and fly right.

• Track eight – Crossing The Rubicon

“I’m searching for an answer that somehow could explain why I feel this misery and pain.”

“The fault is mine in the end…”

A plea for forgiveness and a cry to finally stand up and make a change.

“I Know there’s no turning back.”

Time to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and move on – the turning point on our little play. The scary thing is either Dennis is doing a spot-on impersonation of Tommy, or he found a ringer – at first you’d swear they were singing together. Some cool Styx-like keyboards at the end – which makes sense, since Dennis was the keyboardist of the group.

• Track nine – One With Everything

“Hold on tightly to your innocence and don’t let go.”

“You can be the light that shines.”

The uplifting end. Give yourself a chance and you can be one with everything. Our play draws to a close in the typical uplifting fashion of Cornerstone. More great keyboards here as well – odd, of course, because Dennis is nowhere to be found on this album – I thought these guys were trying to stay away from his stuff? Hey, it’s okay by me, because it suits the purposes of my new Styx album just fine.

With that, we draw it to a close – from the tragedy and aftermath of war, disillusionment with life and the trappings of the political machine, to finally overcoming and standing tall. You now have a brand-new Styx album!

There are, of course, a few caveats:

• You’ll probably have to adjust the final volume output of each file to even the whole thing out – after all they’re from different sources (three albums, to be exact)
• There’s a whole bunch of “session” players in our new Styx album (the ones trying to fill the shoes of the guys no longer in the current band that’s playing the song) – we’re kind of stuck with that.
• Obviously, it’s not a REAL Styx album – but I like it better than the original works from which it was derived.

Two More Fun Things

Covering-up…

First off, our album needs cover art – I purchased a picture of doves from iStock photo.com, and did a little manipulation to change the pretty holiday blue background to a more foreboding war-like red. You are free to use this, as long as you don’t try to sell it or anything – iStock frowns upon that. Click-through to get it full-size.

A Parting Tune…

Lastly, If you like what you have, you can go one more extra step – and this requires a bit of work. I’m an media editor, so I have the tools to do this, but you can do it, as well, with the free audio software Audacity – which is available on both Mac and Windows.

I wanted a true close. Many Styx albums had an opening, and a close (Kilroy Was Here, Grand Illusion, Paradise Theater) – something that says, “Hey, we’re officially done” in an artistic and musical way, which refers back to the beginning of the album. I don’t actually have this, here – So I created it.

I copied the light keyboard piece from the beginning of track one, and flipped it in reverse (There’s a setting in Audacity to reverse a track.) Then I saved it out as a small, single song – that now plays in reverse. Styx used backwards masking in their later albums – mainly because they were accused of it, so why not do it? I think my backwards close works well for Phoenix: Our album started with record noise, then the keyboard piece – and now ends with the reverse keyboard piece, and then the record noise. It ends as it began. Fade to back….

• Track ten  – Epilogue

10 Epilogue

I have included the reverse keyboard piece here for your listening pleasure. This will allow you to hear what the finished piece should sound like. You DON’T want to download this file – because it’s probably not kosher – it’s best to be safe. You’re already purchasing and downloading their actual tunes to make your new Styx album – so let’s not spoil it by actually downloading this – I don’t want them any more angry at me than they probably are already. Really, don’t download it. That would be too easy…

In Conclusion

Technology brings the boys back into the studio together – whether they want to be, or not. That’s basically what DeYoung was singing about in “I don’t Believe In Anything:” everything can be manipulated in our modern, digital world.

You know what? He’s right! Enjoy your Styx reunion album!

Maybe I’ll take a look at Pink Floyd next…

Remember Toyota’s old slogan? Oh what a feeling to drive a Toyota? Takes on a totally different mood now, doesn’t it? Honestly, though, has Ford ever been any better? Remember the Ford/Firestone tire troubles? It took Attorneys, Congress and clicking our heels together three times to get justice then, as well. Corporations base their bigheartedness on whatever gives them a better bottom line. If it’s cheaper to pay out millions in lawsuits, no recall. Think Exxon Valdez. Kinda makes you feel warm all over, doesn’t it?

Speaking of Ford – are you catching the amazingly blatant Ford product placements in TV Shows? I’ve seen more actors tell their car to call someone than I would care to count. Lovely shot of the dashboard, as well. Thank you very much, yes it’s cool, now stop it. Didn’t anyone learn from the lousy Bing ads in the Philanthropist? Wait, I guess no one really watched that show but me and a family in Pittsburgh…

I’m working on Vince Fiction. A new category hear on the ‘ol blog. Yes, I’m still trying to find my true calling here on the internet. Be on the lookout for the pulp fiction parody (no, not the movie, the literary genre) Death Wedding. Imagine The Shadow meets Laura Croft. Then stop imagining that, because it’s nothing like that. It’s about 50% complete, so it should see the light of day in a week or two.

Yes I auditioned for some popular TV show. No, I’m still in the dark as to whether I’m going to be on it or not. I’m not allowed to say anything. I hope that sentence was not too much. I’m probably safe, since only six people read this thing, anyway… And yes, I’m including my dog in that count.

• iPhone:
• Three more days until I’m eligible to upgrade my shattered iPhone. Kind of silly, really – I never wanted to upgrade, I just want the same stinking thing because I dropped it face first on the pavement. Speaking of -
• Testimony to the iPhone – I dropped it face-first on the pavement three months ago – the glass shattered, but still fully operational! Annoying as all get-out, but operational. Since then, I’ve met a few others who shared the same fate – and the iPhone Bunny keeps going, and going…

• TV:
• USA’s White Collar is a bit too silly for me – take one part Leverage, one part Royal Pains, and poof! The formula continues, for better or worse.
• I’m ‘kinda disappointed with the new Chuck as well. I don’t think making Chuck a true spy is working out as I would have hoped. I’ll hang in there, for now.
• And While I’m at it – The Human Target seems to be missing the target. Can’t put my finger on it – but I’d rather watch an implausible episode of Leverage, than a similarly implausible episode of Human Target. The Leverage cast just gels better, and makes it a fun hour-killer.
• Wait for it… Wait for it… There it is! It’s the House moment: someone says something seemingly random to instantly give him the diagnosis… Usually about eight minutes before the end of the program. I still like House, but the “moment” is getting old.

• Music:
• I’m listening to 181.fm these days around the house – it’s the little radio network that could… Click Here to check it out (no, it’s not an affiliate link). I also whipped myself up an account in their Social Network section – what the heck. Click Here to see something that looks – well, just like my Twitter, my blog and my You Tube accounts (I’m a creature of habit…).
• I don’t know if I like the Pandora widget that I put on the home page – it seems to not work about 10% of the time, and it wreaks of over-programming. Go ahead, click all the buttons – do you really need to see albums flying around to see what kind of music I like? Here’s a hint, I listen to just about everything but Country. No offense – just never got into it.

First off – they actually SELL fireworks. Here. In the forest. If this were my old neighborhood, hundreds of Cub Scouts and Church volunteers would have been in jail for illegal distribution. It was rather surreal to see fireworks stands with pine tree backdrops. We have trees, baby. The kind that you see explode into flames in fire safety videos.

Next, I’m near the Canadian border – darkness doesn’t fall until around ten o’clock, yet I was hearing fireworks around 6 pm. What were they doing, enjoying the noise and smell of sulfur? They sure weren’t SEEING the darn things.

Lastly, when nightfall finally did hit – things blew up real good. All around me. And it wasn’t exactly “safe and sane” stuff – I wonder if Canada is to Washington what Mexico is to California when it comes to fireworks – ’cause the noises I was hearing weren’t very legal sounding – flying fireworks, Chinese firecracker strings, blasting caps, quarter sticks of dynamite, shotguns, ak-47′s – you know – mountain stuff. I guess the locals figure the lone Sheriff’s car can’t be everywhere – enjoy the wholesome sound of Fourth of July weapons fire!

Well – we survived. The house survived, and the surrounding neighborhood survived. I guess this is normal stuff around here. Thankfully, it only happens once a year.

I hope. I wonder what plans they make for Labor Day…

None of you seem to be immune, and my head is starting to hurt from all the possible options of who might be next.

Stop taking excessive medication and get to a real doctor. It’s frightening to think that the cast of Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew actually aren’t the losers, but the winners in this whole thing. No offense to Jeff Conaway,  but it wouldn’t surprise me if he went down for the count – but Billy Mays? Give me a break.

This brings up another thought – If you get hit on the head, go to the hospital. If you fall on the set, go to the hospital. If you have a hangnail, go to the hospital. I’m not fooling around here, and neither shoud you – your life hangs in the balance.

Please – if not for yourself, think of us – stem the tide before we have to depend on those kids from America’s Got Talent as our only source of entertainment. You don’t want that, do you?

There are these rose bushes outside of my home. Very pretty, indeed – as long as the roses are in bloom. Then, you better look fast, because the things don’t just lose a few petals as they pass their prime, they seem to literally explode – you go out the next day, and the rose is gone, with a littering of petals all over the ground.

Looking at the remains of a rose is not unlike looking at the remains of a tree – there are all these leaves everywhere – there’s nothing left to do but clean up. Party’s over. reclaim the lawn in the name of keeping the neighborhood green.

I never gave it a second thought. Rose explodes – clean it up. All done.

Until I took a walk today. Today I see a rose differently. More accurately, I see the end of a rose differently. And perhaps, I see some other things differently, as well.

I ventured off my normal walk and crossed over to uncharted territory – the next bock. There, I spied a mother and two young girls, maybe eight and ten. They had the same trouble – rose bushes across the front of the house. Sure enough, they had exploded, just like mine. Red ones, white ones. Lawn litter.

But they weren’t cleaning. They were playing.

To the mother and her daughters, these petals were a marvelous plaything provided by God. The girls were snatching up similar colored petals, and throwing them high above their heads. Beautiful showers of color enveloped them. I had the odd image of fireworks. Mother Nature Brand fireworks. There were smiles and laughter. The mother and I shared a glance and a smile. I then continued on, with a few thoughts to ponder.

Perhaps you have something in your life that you consider “lawn litter.” Something that you consider all done – nothing left. I would say take another look. Someone might not be done with that. You might not be done with that. There may be some life in it still. Take a moment to reassess – there may be quite a bit of joy in the exploration.

I know I will. And I’m looking forward to the next rose explosion.

In case you don’t know the plot (and, judging by the fact it’s canceled, you don’t), Christian Slater plays a spy who has a second life that he never sees – due to a special implant in his brain that makes him a completely different, fictional person in civilian life. This is apparently to make living outside the agency the perfect cover. Of course, something goes wrong with his implant, and Edward the Spy keeps waking up in Henry the homeowner’s life and vice versa. This makes a trip to the mall rather annoying, and an assassination in Bolivia downright dangerous.

The biggest problem is the plot device itself. After 6 or so episodes, I know that Edward won’t finish his mission, homeowner Henry will have to do it. And of course his spy buddy Raymond (Mike O’Malley) will have to bail him out. Further, why go through all the trouble? Why plant a chip at all? If they don’t want these guys to be noticed in the real world, let them stay in dorms or something. The Janus building, the front for the operation, seems big enough – put in some underground tennis courts and a movie theater and call it a day.

Of course, except for Henry, Raymond and their boss – there seems to be no other spies in the building. I guess it’s due to the downward trend in the economy. I would think if Henry was broken, you would either fix him, or trade him in on a new model. Let him go home and play schizo man with his family – or just bump him off and replace him. For a building supposedly full of heartless spies, keeping one around that could possibly screw up every mission just because he used to be the best is kind of like keeping Cujo in your home because he used to be a good puppy – misty feelings aside, he keeps eating the children.

If there was just something actually happening with the plot device, then I could put aside the inconsistencies. So far, however, it’s been all about dealing with two lives and the complication of someone else sleeping with your wife – even though it’s still you – somehow. Sort of. If we found out that the nice fictional Henry the homeowner was, in fact the REAL person, and Edward the spy was actually the fictional creation, then we’d have something – false identities, stolen lives, lots of cool company lies to cover things up – but all we get is a cold heartless spy who turns into NBC’s Chuck when the plot calls for it.

Well, they already have a Chuck, so I guess we won’t miss My Own Worst Enemy all that much. It’s times like this that I really miss I Spy. Robert Culp and Bill Cosby knew how to have a good time, stop the bad guy and get the girl – all without the help of a silly plot device. Like Nike says, Just Do It…

Kitchen Nightmares goes where they have never gone before, and I won’t spoil it here. Media Noir was drug kicking and screaming to Star Wars: Clone Wars, and ran to a local bar afterward to shake it off, and last I heard, Frank Prosper will be answering listener emails. Funny, I didn’t think he actually got listener emails.

This and more on The Half Hour You’ll Never Get Back – Episode 4 “Jobs For President.” Join me, won’t you?

The next Half Hour You’ll Never Get Back (episode 3) will feature a live conversation between myself and some of my creations. They’ll be calling into BTR from the Olympics in China. Impossible you say? That’s the magic, now isn’t it? Either that – or I really have lost it, and talking to yourself is really not as good as I thought…

To make sure that I am offering a credible learning experience, Francis Terse will start his new series “Things You Need To Know, ” and We’ll learn about the new Olympic scoring system in gymnastics.

Oh, yes – And Tommy wants to be your friend. He’s a nice kid, even if he IS a little grating, and his choice of play-toys is a little gross.

It’s all brought to you by Solveitalbutal ™ the new prescription drug of choice.

Hope to see you on Monday!

Bill Williams and Buck Buckerson call the play-by-play yet again, and there’s even a cameo by Ray Butterball. If you don’t know who these guys are, then you probably missed their last appearance in The Hunting Program, so you might want to go check that out.

Today’s Event was written for the original TechNonsense theater production way back around 1992. But with modern technology and a renewed faith in old stuff – I have re-written, re-recorded and transformed it into the comedy sketch equivalent of War And Peace. Okay, maybe not – but I am pleased, and new characters are being born: There was no Bill Williams or Buck Buckerson or Ray Butterball in the 90′s – but it was great stumbling upon the fact that they plug into the sketch beautifully, after their stint on The Hunting Program.

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